I do not know how to be proper when it comes to relating with another. I think it is because I can be either or/neither nor. One the outside I can smile but but my body's twitching will give me away.
I suppose, it is the inner fight between something golden. It is a power struggle and I want to lose for I want to be free. I feel that losing does not mean that I am a quitter, I just simply lost. I have found my match; I am with some one I cannot deviant from. Maybe I do not know how to put it in words but he is not a smell, not a sound, not a sight, not a taste, not even a touch. (I doubt, my spirit would be it usual lingering self.)
May I be bless and find some way to cope and carry on.
According to David Augsburger: Forgiveness is letting what was, be gone; What will be, come; What is now, be.